"Welcome back once again to the lovely Tony Danza Memorial Palisade Theatre in gorgeous downtown Santa Helvetica, California, for more of this year’s annual Maxwell Beep Intellectual Dystrophy Association Telethon! We’re entering our four thousand eight hundred and fifty-second hour of consecutive broadcasting and fund-raising, and it’s all thanks to you… well, you and those giant vats of speed backstage."

This play was produced by the sketch comedy group Disgruntled Bit-Players as part of its entry into Seattle's SketchFest 2001, a festival featuring 12 different west coast sketch comedy groups. The play was performed November 30, 2001. Your pal Scotto played Maxwell Beep.