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Can't Talk Right Now

My new play, Can't Talk Right Now, is being produced by Theatre22 as their first off night, opening in February 2016. Amanda is the host of a late night radio show, Signal Loss - a love letter to the analog era. In her search for a new story, Amanda finds a twenty-year-old answering machine in a thrift shop, and is captivated by the cryptic and anxious messages on the device. She sets out to unravel the mystery of the voicemails, searching for the woman who left them and the woman who never heard them - and discovering the unlikely impact they had on each other’s lives. More »

Dimension Force

My first YA play was produced in November 2015, as part of Seattle Public Theater's youth program. Dimension Force is a team of exceptional agents, assembled from across the multiverse, charged with protecting reality from unusually powerful criminals and technology. More »

H.P. Lovecraft: Stand-Up Comedian!

Produced by Annex Theatre, April 2015; remounted for Bumbershoot, September 2015. Instead of expressing his terrifying vision of malevolent, eldritch gods via horror stories in the early twentieth century, H.P. ('Howie' to his friends) Lovecraft expresses his terrifying vision in the present day via stand-up comedy. But an ancient evil stirs beneath the sea— can Howie pull off one last sold-out gig before the human race is destroyed? More »

Balconies

Annex Theatre produced Balconies in August of 2014: The creators of the hit mobile game “Sparkle Dungeon 5: Assassins Of Glitter” are celebrating their latest success with a wild costume party for artists, agitators and hackers. But in the condo next door, a Senate campaign fundraiser is coming to town, attracting politicos, CEOs and media celebrities. As the two events spill out onto neighboring balconies, can an unlikely romance succeed in the midst of steadily increasing mayhem? More »

Star Crossed

Annex Theatre presented a collection of my short plays as an off night production called Star Crossed, and other tales from a devious universe, in April of 2013. The title piece for the evening was a set of four interconnected short plays about an immortal astronaut crossing time and space to reunite with the woman she loves. More »

A Mouse Who Knows Me

Annex Theatre produced my fourth full-length play, A Mouse Who Knows Me, as part of its 25th season in October of 2012: a science fiction musical comedy with book & lyrics by me and music by Robertson Witmer. In a genetics lab that is inserting human genes into mice to see what might happen, Dr. Audrey Whitman starts to believe that one of her mice has developed human empathy & intelligence and develops a strange relationship with the mouse she christens Romeo. More »

Duel Of The Linguist Mages

Annex Theatre produced my third full-length play in January of 2011: a dark sci-fi comedy about two researchers who learn to hack the very structure of language at a deeper level than ever before. As they gain unprecedented linguistic power, they turn against each other in a struggle to control their new technology. Who will survive the Duel Of The Linguist Mages? More »

When I Come To My Senses, I'm Alive!

Annex Theatre produced my second full length play as part of its 2010 season. When I Come To My Senses, I'm Alive! is a near-future sci-fi story about a woman who invents a method for podcasting her emotions; but publishing digital versions of her emotions to the internet has unexpected consequences amongst the botnets of the world... More »

interlace [falling star]

Annex Theatre produced my first full length play as part of its 2008 season, an epic blend of science-fiction and fantasy, in which a mysterious amnesiac finds herself in the headquarters of the United Association of Interdimensionary Travelers. Her unexplained presence sets off a series of increasingly catastrophic events that not only compromise the security of the Association, but threaten to unravel the entire fabric of creation itself! More »

The Principia Discordia LIVE!

An adaptation for the stage of the original Principia Discordia by Malaclypse the Younger, produced by Annex Theatre in 2004. In this version, Discordianism is presented in terms of strict social constructionism, with nods to the economic underpinnings that brought about cultural unrest in the late '50s such that neo-phenomenological treatises like the Principia could take serious root amongst the disaffected privileged of Western civilization. No, really. More »

This Isn't Happening

James wants to get the band back together. The band is less than impressed with this idea - especially his ex Patty, who went solo for a reason. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Nihilism Blues

Carla's new friend Gothic Larry is planning his own demise, and there might not be anything she can do about it. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Crime & Rockets

In summer 2015, Pacific Play Company invited me to curate & write for an evening of short plays called Crime & Rockets. Humanity’s seemingly boundless expansion across the galaxy hasn’t come without a price... ‘cuz wherever there’s humans, there’s bad humans. More »

All Out Of Second Chances

In summer 2015, Pacific Play Company invited me to curate & write for an evening of short plays called Tall Tales Of The Unnatural Frontier. In this play: a chance encounter on the Transcontinental Railroad ties an unlikely family together. More »

Miles To Go Before I Eat

Settlers on a distant planet find themselves in sudden possession of desperately needed supplies - and some very bad news, too. A 14/48 Nordo: Food Theater Thunderdome play. More »

Our Hypothetical Future

In which the joys of spontaneous polyamorous marriage proposals are examined. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Krieger's Dilemma

Trapped on a life boat, Weaver thinks it's time to kill Krieger and eat him. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Krieger's Girlfriend

Krieger's girlfriend is in big trouble - starting with the fact that she's a mannequin. More »

Do Not Wait For Further Messages

The perils of skydiving when the surface of the planet has gone missing. Produced by Seattle Theatre Works at the Medicine Ball festival, February 2015. More »

August for 12 Tongues

In late April of 2014, my fantastic solo performer friend Yana Kasala asked me to contribute a monologue for her to perform in a piece she was developing called 12 Tongues. More »

Legal / Cliffhanger

The One Minute Play Festival premiered in Seattle in May of 2014, and I was invited to contribute a pair of plays. More »

Finally Got You

A gamer's luck finally runs out - or does it? (A 14/48 play.) More »

All Must Pay The Price

A question of faith is about to be resolved without doubt for two unsuspecting priests. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Exactly What You Would Do

An astronaut's new assignment jeopardizes her marriage in this sweet romantic drama. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Coming To A Conclusion

Hijinks ensue when Maribel orders an orgasm machine off the Internet. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Wrestling Match

The perils of living with a functioning alcoholic are many - including smashed bottles of bourbon. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Bliss Potential

A rock journalist discovers the perils of meeting a long-time idol with a cross to carry. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Fire Sleep With Me

An adventure vacation takes a turn for the unexpected in this romantic comedy. YES I CAN WRITE ROMCOMS, SHUT UP. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Sending A Message

"I'm building a time machine so that I can go back in time and kill Judy Garland." (A 14/48 play.) More »

What Are You Doing Right Now?

Can Facebook soften the heart of a die hard curmudgeon, and draw her out of her shell? You are invited to find out, in this unexpected (for me, at least) romantic comedy. Also, poke. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Sudden Inexpressible

Explorers deep below the surface of the Earth discover an unexpected treasure left behind by a long dead civilization - but getting it back to the surface is a profound challenge in more ways than one. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Contact

The deep space exploration ship Destiny is over 500 years into its mission to chart unknown regions of space. Thanks to nanoengines implanted in their stomachs, the crew will survive indefinitely... (A 14/48 play.) More »

That Doesn't Sound Right At All

Elvis is back on Earth - for just fifteen minutes. That means just one chance to say the thing he always meant to say. But he wasn't counting on the detour to Pamela's apartment... (A 14/48 play.) More »

The Mirage

Princes do not sweep in via email and magically deliver 30% of a large amount of cash directly into your purse for you to spend on gold-plated mansions on the moon. They might, however, magically deliver a bit of missing romance. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Club Rules

Unrequited love lurks under the surface as the secret counsel meeting of the Mighty Ünderground Midnight Prankster Squad is officially convened. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Leaving The Nest

There's trouble in the Satan household when daughter Lilith wants to take someone from across the tracks to prom. (A 14/48 play.) More »

The Learning Curve

It's Competition Busking at the Olympics: The French pulled out a surprising early lead, fielding a dark horse team that included a comedian, a violinist, and a caricature artist who only works with pig's blood. Then out of nowhere, we saw the Argentineans leap to the front with their team of a naughty snake charmer, a tricycle stunt-rider, and a folk-dancing economist. If the Americans are going to place in this event, they've really got to turn up the heat. (A 14/48 play.) More »

Deep Trouble

It's a special night in the afterlife, as Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy await their final judgment from St. Peter. More »

Dream Sequence

Do you remember when you used to dream about getting away from that nine to five grind, when you dreamt about a life that exceeded your cubicle and whatever excuse you currently have for a career? Do you remember that dream, about a life that was completely extraordinary or at the very least unusual, and things would happen that you couldn't explain and they would be interesting and remarkable, do you remember that dream? Or did you ever wake up from that dream? More »

Spiderweb

On the Internet, no one knows you're a tortured soul looking for love - except your imaginary friends on IRC. More »

This Play Is Boring

Mark Hamill, star of Star Wars and Corvette Summer, introduces you to the world's most boring woman. More »

The Chaos Affair

A bicycle messenger delivers a strange package to hapless Martin: a divine artifact called The Voice of the 72 Names, which has inscribed upon it God's phone number - direct dial, no extension. Needless to say, hijinks ensue. More »

Midnight, Hotel Mystery Groove

Thomas gets more than he bargained for when he rescues his girlfriend Jessica from a cult. Turns out she wasn't just a victim... More »

Café Dans Way Le Fuck Out En Nowhere Middleux

A Burning Man installation / performance piece: a nice little table and chairs, set up like a two top in a nice restaurant, with a beautiful tablecloth, nice plates and silver and two wine glasses, two candles with electric bulbs, and two menus with a script that we had written; each person got sides to read, so if you happened across this installation while wandering the open playa, you'd get an opportunity to do a scene with your friend. More »

The Importance of Being Fucked Up

A one-man show I performed once upon a time. Part of an ongoing theatrical series "Angst – It's What's For Breakfast," this show is a searing and hysterical romp, featuring a wide range of spastic characters attempting to answer that musical question: "Huh? What?" More »

Thon! (or Attack of the Clones!)

Welcome back once again to the lovely Tony Danza Memorial Palisade Theatre in gorgeous downtown Santa Helvetica, California, for more of this year’s annual Maxwell Beep Intellectual Dystrophy Association Telethon! We’re entering our four thousand eight hundred and fifty-second hour of consecutive broadcasting and fund-raising, and it’s all thanks to you… well, you and those giant vats of speed backstage. More »

Desolation Games

In the mid-'90s, I was commissioned by a midwestern production company to write the script for an independent film, with the following restrictions: a) use a very small cast, b) use primarily a single location, and c) try to incorporate a connection ... More »

The Short Play Brigade

A series of incredibly stupid little plays. We meant to perform them at Burning Man, but you know how it is; sometimes Burning Man just isn't interested in your little "art project." More »

Radioactive Blue

From a solitary hotel room, Billy attempts to coordinate the release of a drug called Radioactive Blue across the country. Will he succeed in bringing about mass hallucinations in the populace at large - or will his girlfriend Molly bring his plans crashing down? A radio play featuring Antero Alli and Paco Xander Nathan. More »

WEDDING! The Musical

Contrary to popular belief, we did not make up WEDDING! The Musical in a drunken haze one night. Rather, we worked from this script, which has been helpfully annotated to show all you the places where we ripp-- er, paid homage to a number of our favorite pop culture icons. More »

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