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by Andrea Change, curator, Scotto.org
Here are some exciting details about Scotto.org that may make your visit here more enjoyable, formatted as though genuine people were actually asking questions! WHY IS YOUR SITE SO BIG AND WEIRD?
You think this site is big and weird? You shoulda seen some of the stuff we had to remove. This was before the electroshock period, mind you. Plus this site doesn't even have a single Boing. It's not even a half Boing. It is not weird, trust me. Those Boing people are having weird shipped in directly via sekret tunnels underneath the earth. Of course, they have to screen it because a lot of times it just looks like reruns of Scrubs, but every now and then... well, you get the picture. No one sends reruns of Scrubs to us. So back off with your big and weird site question, pal. This is a medium-sized and moderately unusual site, and that's the way we like it. HOW DO I MAKE THE SITE WORK?
There are a couple of key ways:
There are two approved methods:
Pout much? Well, look - Scotto has already offered several heart-breaking autobiographical tales in his Non-Fiction section. Seriously, these are tales that make emus cry. I know - I was there, collecting emu tears into Tupperware and scampering off into the undergrowth before the media hordes descended. I was brought by the bedside of a blind woman, where I anointed her eyes with emu tears, and lo and behold, she sprang up, her sight restored, singing Stevie Wonder. However, it was not a Stevie song that I enjoyed, and I was forced to pluck out the woman's eyes in order to restore balance. I think you might have seen all this on a recent CSI. Anyway, the important thing here is that if you wanted to know more about him than what he'd posted to this site, you could intimidate his family and friends with offers of large cash payouts for big four page spreads in US magazine. His sister will wear a bikini for that. I don't know why I'm telling you this.
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